Chapter 4, Get married for the right reasons

So after signing up to do a three year diploma in Education, I ended up finishing my 4 year degree in 5 years. Nothing is ever simple in life and whenever you think you have a plan something changes it for you and you must adapt or die! Ok, not die, but seriously consider the alternatives.

My whirlwind romance and relationship was doing as many whirlwinds do, it had run its course. As denial was my friend, I was trying to patch it in any way possible, I wanted a family for my kids, a mom and a dad, at any cost. Almost at every cost actually is more accurate. Mom and Dad argued more than they breathed, everything was wrong. I forget how many times a wedding ring was flung at me.

My new husband worked crazy shifts, nights in an unstable job, as he was unskilled, service and hospitality industry work was all he could do, and with a lil influence from friends and family he landed minimum wage jobs. Working abroad was all the rage at that time, cruise ships in the Carribean, Teaching in Korea, And bartending  in the UAE. He applied for most of those and finally was called to work, to leave South Africa in less than 2months to work in Dubai, we had been married less than 6months at that point. We had great hopes and dreams of him working and sending money home, to be able to afford to move out of my parents house and into our own, with our own family, finally. It never happened.

Two months after leaving, he returned for his fathers funeral, things were strange between us, I was happy when he left. He phoned less, which was ok because it meant we fought less. Finally after many bitter lonely nights he admitted he was seeing someone else. My husband had gone abroad and found a broad. Everyone always thought he was the bad guy, I got the pity look at family functions, divorce was not a popular event in our family and in my life only happened maybe two or three times in all our relatives marriages. But truly I was relieved, I was relieved that I didnt have to pretend everything was cool anymore, or make excuses for him or his behavior anymore, he made his decision and I was adamant to provide my kids with the best of the best on my own and I was well on my way to achieving that. My children were and still are my strength, my blessings and my joy.

SO I completed my degree, graduated and landed a job at the lil Catholic school down the road that I had attended as a child.